One word…WOW!
We went to see Kodo from Japan the other night. Fantastic. It really hits you on some primal level. The beating drums, the blending of harmonious sounds deep, high, hollow, rich. What fascinating music. It was absolutely mesmerizing.
If you ever get the opportunity, well worth the ticket.
Flowers: So, the florist tells me that for what I want, simple remember, it will end up being around $1000. Exit stage left! Next stop, the floral wholesale company. Manage to get an account set up, buy a few odds and ends, and head home to try my hand at boutonnieres and corsages. Turns out they are rather simple! So, for a grand total of $23 in flowers I whipped up a small daisy bouquet, a small rose bouquet, and a boutonniere that seemed a bit big so I added a sprig of baby’s breath a few leaves and a ribbon and turned it into a single rose corsage. I have decided I can do this myself. It may be a stupid decision that I seriously regret the night before a wedding….but it is what it is and I can’t spend $500 – $1000 on flowers!
Cake: That has taken another turn and I am back to square one. I have an appointment with the Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts on Tuesday and really hope that they can make me something within my budget and within the short time frame. If not….cheesecake from Save-On-Foods? I just don’t know.
Family: Aunt and Uncle and Cousin not coming.
Best Man – Job Position possibly vacant! Our Best Man has hit a few snags and will likely not be able to attend.
Father of the Bride: Currently has a sick girlfriend who may not travel therefore Father may also not travel.
SHIT!
Today is not going well…..
But the Kodo drummers last night were amazing…I just keep hanging onto that!
This is ridiculous. I am trying to sort out flowers for my wedding. I don’t want anything extravagant. It’s a small wedding. No church pews to decorate. No fancy centrepieces. No cascading bouquets made of tropical orchids that only bloom once every ten years. 
Daisies. White gerbera daisies with black centres. That’s all I want. Well, not totally true, I’d like white calla lilies but I can’t afford them…although with the prices I am being quoted…I might not be able to afford daisies either! All I want is three stems of large headed gerberas on each table, boutonnieres for six men, corsages for four women, a bouquet for myself, my bridesmaid and my niece. Daisies are about $2 per stem. Yesterday I went into three florists and asked about the arrangements….I received quotes on a bouquet (remember, I am just looking for simple hand tied bouquets…not fancy cascading things…arrangements holding a max of 15 flowers) ranging from $60-$150 for my bouquet alone! That is totally insane and I could probably figure out how to make it myself for $30! $35 for a corsage? $20 for a boutonniere? Are they nuts? YouTube has a video that shows how to make a single rose boutonniere in about 30 seconds! And a white rose only costs about $3. I think I am going to learn how to make boutonnieres and corsages this weekend!
That old adage “you only get married once” (besides being untrue for many) always seemed to me to hold the meaning of “why waste money on something you only do once”. But lately it’s taken on a different meaning…Kirk and I have been together for so long…and I truly believe that we will only get married once…and after this long, that is something to celebrate, and celebrate right…even if we only have a short time to pull it together. It’s the limited budget that is bothering me.
I thought we could pull a wedding off for something around $5000, and I didn’t even really want to try to reallocate that much money, particularly when I have no idea if I will be working after March… now the reality comes to roost and this is going to cost much, much more than that by the time all is said and done…I used to think people were being ridiculously extravagant when they talked about $30,000 weddings, but now I just read that the average…the “average” wedding costs approximately $40,000! I suppose a large part of it is living in a big city. You’d think that would make things easier and less expensive, but I now realize that it is the opposite. Even though we have bartered for the venue, have a friend helping with the food, have managed to swing a deal on a cake (I think)…I didn’t expect to pay so much for rings, a dress, a suit, the alcohol, and certainly not for the flowers! Daisies no less!
Sometimes I think we should have done this years ago. And then I wonder why we are doing it at all. It’s stressful, particularly financially. I feel badly asking guests to pay for drinks, but no one in either of our families has offered to help out financially so we are on our own. I know that traditionally the brides father helps out substantially….but we haven’t been offered anything. We may not have accepted, but it would have been so nice to have received an offer at least.
And so it goes.
I think I am going to be glad when this is all over and I have something less personal to stress about.
That’s the way stories are written. That’s the way nature works. That’s life.
Everything in existence has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Why do we fight it so much? Of course we want things to last. But sometimes we need to let go of things and let them fade into their natural destiny. As humans, we seem bent on forcing nature to our will. We despise change. Particularly change that removes things from existence. Yet that really is the way of nature.
All organisms have relatively set lifespans. Rivers change their paths. Glaciers push forward and recede. The wind erodes the mountains. Disease wipes out populations. Climate change does the same….even without our assistance. Trees grow, they proliferate, then they eventually die. Some trees only live a few years, some can live for centuries, and a select few seem to defy the natural order of things and survive for a millennia.
But eventually everything has to pay the piper for the cost of existence and needs to give back to the womb that nurtured it and provided the raw materials.
The mountains crumble into beaches and eventually dissolve back into raw minerals that provide the building blocks for new objects. Water eventually dissipates as vapour to be recycled into the atmosphere and be reborn. And plants and animals die so that nutrients can be recycled into the next generation of living material.
It’s natural.
So why is the Vancouver Park Board so bent on saving the remnants of a once proud tree. They call it the “Hollow Tree” but it hasn’t been a tree for many decades. It is a stump.. Plain and simple. A sad reminder of the damage tat man does to the environment around us. We take the majestic and shape it to fit our needs. And then we leave sad reminders and herald them as natural treasures.
Once it was a proud and massive tree. Then we cut it down, but humans wouldn’t let it “die”. Instead, the plan now is to turn it into some “Frankenstein” tree that will be preserved for posterity. Really, it’s time to let it go Vancouver……it’s just a stump….a once proud red cedar deserves the right to reach the end.
Have you ever felt lost in your own life? Why does something that should be a celebration end up being a minefield of personalities that rival an episode of Family Feud?
So the invitations went out, and we wait for people to respond.
One response, two actually… “If he/she’s coming, I won’t be there” Great, apparently grown adults have regressed to the age of four and think that the entire affair is about them…even though none of them have contributed anything to it! I can’t help but think “Get over it and stop being selfish!” Unless a murder was committed (and there wasn’t) I fail to see how adults cannot put differences (no matter the magnitude) aside for a few hours!I find it absolutely infuriating that I suffered what amounted to complete professional humiliation at the hands of a man at a former place of employment, yet when it came down to business, I managed to (and still do) work in close contact with him and maintain an air of distant civility. And yet two people who separated three years ago can’t! It’s truly maddening!
The other branch of the family. Conflict between two siblings may mean one and an associated spouse may not come either…at least that was the warning I received today.
Again…why does my wedding need to be a staging ground for family politics?
More family members are up in arms about the fact that we are having a black and white wedding and are only concerned about their own attire…I don’t care! I don’t expect people to show up in a tux! Wear whatever you darn well please! It would be “nice” if you wore black and white, but it’s not the end of the world if you don’t…just don’t show up in felt packs and sweatpants please!
Most women have a girlfriend to share all the excitement with…my best friend (aside for the fellow I am marrying) is in Thunder Bay Ontario…a bit far for a consultation at the dressmakers…I just feel so alone on this side of things. So I am choosing, fitting, and making decisions on a dress without any :girly” support. It just makes me sad when it should be exciting and fun.
I’ve always denied wanting to get married, but what woman doesn’t want a special day when she gets to have those who are special to her gathered together for a celebration of the relationship she shares with someone? Now all I feel is dread and regret at setting out on this path.
And there ends my pathetic whine for the day.