It’s funny, we went to the same pub every Tuesday for 10 years. Then we changed it up. Things haven’t worked out and what used to be a great big social group with lots of great conversation with different people each week (everyone usually plays musical chairs) sort of fell apart. Well, not sort of, it has pretty much been obliterated. We tried going to a new pub, but that didn’t work, a few people didn’t like it and it wasn’t really set up for our big group. We tried another pub, three of us went and liked it, but again, not really set up for a larger group. So we tried another pub that we go to after Bridge meetings. A few more people came, but yet again, a bit too small and not set up well for larger groups.
Last night, four of us decided to go back to the old haunt, Sailor Hagar’s…where everything began for us in the Boating class 11 years ago. We walked in the door and the staff brightened and asked if we need to pull some tables together. We said, no, just the four of us. We ordered a Wit (Wheat Ale) and savoured the long lost taste of the beer we used to drink every week. As the first beer disappeared, the bar tender came over and gave us a free pitcher. We were surprised since the free pitchers used to be a perk for coming in with out larger group, but he was just happy to see us and was welcoming us back. He said they miss us there, Tuesdays aren’t the same anymore and they are very quiet without us.
We sat and talked for some time, about the group, about why we keep coming back year after year and volunteering. And we all came to the same conclusion, the reason we do it is because we like being a part of something larger. Yes, it’s nice to be out with another couple, but there was something magical about the large group that grew from our original twosome dinner and a beer at Sailor’s on Tuesdays after class. It’s fabulous to be able to change it up every week and chat with someone different, students and proctors and instructors coming and going, mingling and sharing stories from in the class and out on the water. Two or four people can get together and go for dinner and drinks any time, but to get a large group together and share experiences, that makes the volunteer efforts worthwhile and it’s only manageable when you have them all together at the outset. And that was also how we got new proctors…the students joined us and we were able to share experiences with them…and they wanted to be a part of this great big fun “family”. None of us feel any particular connection with this class because we haven’t had that social opportunity and after class everyone just sort of says goodbye and heads off to wherever. There is an awkwardness there that wasn’t there before. We feel like we are skirting an issue and trying not to hurt each others feelings. And it’s silly. And a lot of proctors are slipping away and not returning to the class regularly because they feel uncomfortable and some of the fun has dissolved. Yes, we can all get together during the class, but we can’t really chat there…we are there to mark and then to assist the students…so then we all leave and don’t ever get to socialize.
We are drifting apart. If we drift too far…we will lose sight of each other and we won’t be able to find each other again.
Tuesday night social nights are the entire reason we keep coming back season after season. And so, we have pretty much decided that we need that back or it’s not worthwhile. So last night was a new beginning. We will be heading back to Sailor Hagar’s every Tuesday night. No more dancing around are you coming here or going there. No, we will be at Sailor’s and maybe we can start again. First there were two, then we were four….we will be a big fun chatty group again….back where we belong. If the others want the same thing we do….the group dynamics we used to have….it seems to have been tied to the location and the atmosphere…so maybe they will decide to join us again. That’s what Tuesdays mean to me, that’s what Tuesdays meant to a lot of people. And that is what we will make Tuesdays again.
To Tuesdays at Sailor Hagars!!!
